Pawsitive School Counselor

Grief is something we support students through every single year. Sometimes it is the loss of a family member, friend, or beloved pet. Other times grief shows up in less visible ways — family changes, divorce, moving schools, community tragedies, or major life transitions that leave students carrying heavy emotions into the classroom.

As school counselors, we often become one of the first safe spaces where students can begin processing those feelings.

So how do we create meaningful support for students navigating grief?

Here are some of the ways I support students through grief-focused small groups, individual counseling, and family-centered resources.

Why Grief Small Groups Matter

One of the most effective ways to support grieving students is through small groups.

While individual counseling is incredibly valuable, grief groups create something uniquely powerful: connection.

Students quickly realize they are not the only ones experiencing difficult emotions, and that this shared experience can reduce feelings of isolation and build a sense of belonging.

Grief groups help students:

• Feel less alone in their experience
• Learn to identify and express emotions
• Practice coping strategies
• Build resilience while honoring memories
• Connect with peers experiencing similar challenges

Sometimes peer connection becomes just as powerful as the counseling itself.

My 6-Week Grief Small Group Framework

After seeing the incredible impact of a grief group my intern facilitated several years ago, I took some of the students’ favorite activities. I created a six-week curriculum focused on helping students process grief in developmentally appropriate ways.

Week 1: Building Safety and Connection

We begin with introductions, icebreakers, and community-building activities designed to help students feel emotionally safe.

Week 2: Ruff Feelings

Students explore emotional awareness and practice naming the many feelings connected to grief.

Week 3: Barks and Bounces

This session focuses on coping skills, resilience, and identifying supportive people in their lives.

Week 4: Sweet Memories

Students reflect on meaningful memories through storytelling, keepsakes, or activities focused on remembrance.

Week 5: I Can Make It

Students identify strengths they already possess and reflect on ways they have already navigated difficult experiences.

Week 6: Mindfully Moving Forward

Our final session focuses on mindfulness, healing, and carrying grief as we continue to move forward.

Throughout each session, I incorporate books, games, movement, discussion, and hands-on activities that allow students to engage authentically.

Find all of my grief resources here.

Extending Support Beyond School: Grief Bags To Go

Supporting grieving students does not stop when the counseling session ends.

One thing I have found incredibly valuable is helping families continue these conversations at home.

To make that easier, I created Grief Bags To Go — take-home support bags that families can check out, providing activities, conversation starters, and tools designed to help caregivers support children through grief outside of school.

I originally shared this project with Confident Counselors, where I discussed how these bags can strengthen the home-school connection during difficult times.

Learn more about using these to-go support resources here.

Using the Four Tasks of Mourning with Children

Although many educators and families are familiar with the Stages of Grief framework created by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, this model was originally developed to explain the experiences of individuals confronting their own death or terminal diagnosis, rather than the grief experienced after losing someone important.

When supporting children, I often turn to J. William Worden’s Four Tasks of Mourning, which focuses on the process of adapting to the loss of a loved one. I appreciate this framework because it acknowledges that grief is not linear and helps children actively engage in understanding loss, processing emotions, adjusting to change, and finding healthy ways to carry connection forward.

1. Accepting the Reality of the Loss

Children need opportunities to understand and acknowledge what has happened.

Activity Idea:
Create a memory box or scrapbook filled with photographs, written memories, favorite objects, or meaningful reminders connected to the person or pet they have lost.

This helps make the loss more concrete while creating space for remembrance.

2. Processing the Pain of Grief

Children do not always have the language to explain difficult emotions.

Play can often become the language of grief.

Activity Ideas:

• Use toys or figurines to act out feelings or experiences
• Provide a sand tray for symbolic expression
• Encourage open-ended emotional exploration through play

Try prompts such as:

• “Create a scene that shows what your feelings look like right now.”
• “If your feelings were a place, what would it look like?”

Sometimes children reveal more through play than conversation alone.

3. Adjusting to a World Without the Person They Lost

Grief often brings change to daily routines, family dynamics, and a child’s sense of normalcy.

Helping children recognize and talk about change can be incredibly important.

Activity Ideas:

• Write a letter to the person who died sharing updates or thoughts
• Read stories about change and discuss connections

Reflection questions:

• Which character felt familiar to you?
• What change in the story reminded you of your own experience?
• What feels different now?

4. Finding an Enduring Connection While Moving Forward

Healing does not mean forgetting.

Children benefit from understanding that they can continue to carry love and connection as they move forward in their lives.

Activity Idea:

Plant seeds together in a small pot.

Caring for something living can become a beautiful way for children to honor the person they lost while building a new ritual of remembrance.

Books I Use to Support Students Experiencing Grief

Books can be one of the most powerful tools when helping children process grief.

Stories create safe opportunities for students to explore difficult emotions, ask questions, and see their own experiences reflected back to them.

Many of my favorite grief activities pair books with memory boxes, reflection discussions, and creative projects that allow students to honor important relationships.

Below are just a few of the books I have used.

You can find more here on Amazon or download the book list.

Amazon Grief book list

If you are looking for additional titles and book recommendations, I have also put together a larger list of grief-support books I frequently use with students.

Here is a downloadable list of books to support grieivng students.

Final Thoughts

Grief is not something children simply “move on” from.

As school counselors, we have the opportunity to create spaces where students feel seen, supported, and understood as they learn to navigate loss in their own way.

Sometimes the most meaningful thing we can offer is not having the perfect words.

It is simply creating space for children to know they do not have to navigate grief alone.

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